For several weeks I've known that this week we would have the theme song of IN ME as we focus on BLESSED ARE THE MEEK... What I didn't know was that for two weeks previous I would be repeatedly tempted to quit doing this blog. Oh, there were several reasons but "I'm just tired of it all" was what would come out of my mouth. I've been fighting the computer alot which causes much more time posting than necessary. Praying about it only seemed to make matters worse. Jessica's migraines have been worse. Praying about it only seems to make matters worse. My need for more income and my job searching for a different job because our medical insurance stops at the end of this month is frustrating. It had been evident that there has been a spiritual battle going on inside of me and around me. Interestingly enough, it was the words of my husband, my earthly father, and Cristi Schwamb that encouraged me (gave me the courage) to keep going...to ENDURE...to STAND!
- My dad's words kept coming into my mind, "Work through it!" He had lived through the depression, WWII, and much much more. He knew the meaning of perseverance and endurance.
- Steve came home one day saying that two women had told him that they had to have their TRANSFORMED MOMS "fix" to get through the day. One is a woman seperated from her husband with several young kids at home. One is a woman who has battled cancer and is struggling with excruciating pain these days.
- I listened to Cristi on Sunday as she talked about her being in the hospital room waiting for a new heart for Lauren, Tim being sent to Germany, and her other kids going to Georgia. It's all out of her control. She has to rely to the ONE who is in control. She has to endure for the sake of her family!
Even though these words and thoughts encouraged me, I still struggled with posting some days until late in the evening. It was mostly because there was a spiritual battle going on inside of me. The last couple days I've begun to get a glimpse of at least part of the WHY! All of a sudden, this blog is being inundated with "hits" from people doing GOOGLE searches looking for answers. Here are a few search requests that got them here:
- scriptures for a mom in pain
- because he lives can i face tomorrow?
- transformed by the holy spirit
- what does whatever you're doing inside of me mean?
- what does it mean to surrender all?
What's TRANSFORMING about these times of battle is that if I endure, I come out stronger on the other side. I needed this song this week to help me to STAND. I needed this chorus this week to help me to STAND. I need His WORD deep within my heart to help me to STAND. I needed encouragement to ENDURE.
Then, just a little while ago Vanessa sent me a link to a video that I watched. But, it was the video that was right after it that reminded me of my need to endure and tell my story. So, here's this week's chorus and the short video and a reminder to you that we are here to encourage one another to endure! ENDURANCE is transforming! Thank you for the encouragement Dad, Steve, Cristi, and Vanessa! In four different ways you have all given me the encouragement that I needed. Thank You, God, for living inside of me, leading me, and working through me. I give you praise!
Cause when I'm weak,
You make me strong!
When I'm blind,
You shine Your light on me!
Cause I'll never get by living on my own ability.
How refreshing to know You don't need me.
How amazing to find that you want me!
So I'll stand on Your truth,
and I'll fight with Your strength
Until You bring the victory,
by the power of Christ in me.