Almost everytime I pray about something the situation gets worse before it gets better. Almost everytime I really desire transformation in a certain area the very thing that I desire to transform sticks it's ugly head up. Almost everytime I feel confident in a certain area, I am shown that I should not be so confident. Almost everytime I post something on this blog, I am put to the test....UGH!!!
Right now on my Facebook page I have the following status update: Patti is recovering from several days on New Jersey roads...Atlantic City Expressway...Garden State Parkway...10 miles backed up traffic...Jackson Rd.-wrong county...
My patience and endurance have been tested! I was very confident that GOOGLE and I could find our way around South Jersey as I travel to different schools to observe my student teachers. Not a chance! The ugly head of my basic personality ("lion") has shown itself! I'm sure it's not just because there's been a full moon.
What pushes your buttons? What makes you get carried away with emotion? With me, it's definitely about being "in control". When I'm on overload, there is no way to take care of all my responsibilities and I find myself getting way too sidetracked. That, in turn, really frustrates me and I begin feeling more "out of control". Oh, I'm so much better than I used to be. Yet, the past few days have shown me that I still have a long way to go in "letting it go".
As I think about the first verse of our theme song this week, I wonder what gets you "carried away with emotion"?!?
- Is it the fear of what is happening to our country?
- Is it watching your children not do what you had hoped that they would?
- Is it being put in situations that you're not that comfortable with?
- Is it someone not doing something exactly the way you had asked?
- Is it worry? Anxiety?
As I sat on the Garden State Parkway yesterday, about 10 miles behind where there was a terrible accident, I thought about the last part of verse one..."Hold on to all that you hide in your heart! There is one thing that has always been true-it holds the world together...GOD IS IN CONTROL." I pondered what I had hidden in my heart just this week...new prayer requests...Sunday's class and sermon...yesterday's verses...and the song...and then I sang that children's song that I love so dearly...the one on our playlist...HE'S STILL WORKING ON ME...
Then, I came home and barked at Steve for the second, third, or fourth time in the last few days...
Oh, God of second chances, here I am again...don't give up on me...
This is no time for fear!
This is a time for faith and determination.
Don't lose the vision here-
Carried away by emotion.
Hold on to all that you hide in your heart!
There is one thing that has always been true-
It holds the world together...