There are some things about this post today that might make you think that this is FAMILY FELLOWSHIP FRIDAY. This post would certainly fit there! You are welcome to come back each Friday and join us in sharing ideas for family fellowship within our own little families, our extended families, or our church families. For today, though, join me as I share with you about some parents and some children who I saw this past weekend on my trip to Alabama and why I am so grateful for how they do family fellowship! I must confess that I did not do a very good job taking pictures and the pictures that I did take got washed in the washing machine in my cell phone (which is now no more). Oh, Patti!
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This is my brother Steve and his wife Sandi in a picture taken several years ago. This weekend I had the privilege of "relieving" them for a few days of their care of Mom.
- They got to go to a play as a family on Friday night.
- Saturday they headed out in early afternoon for #1 Alabama's televised football game in uncommonly cold weather. They returned around midnight with great memories of being there to see their team win another one in the final weeks of the college football season.
- Sunday morning, Sandi was able to attend worship services WITH Steve (where he preaches) because someone Mom was comfortable with was able to stay with her.
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Steve and Sandi have three young adult children and one daughter-in-law who have all born part of the challenge of caring for their grandmother. Thank you, Eric/Lindsey, Sommer, and Katie.
.Mom is 80 years old, has lived a rich life, and now has Alzheimers. For caretakers of those with Alzheimers, days are often referred to as 36 hour days. Steve and Sandi have "baby monitors" throughout their house so they can hear Mom whenever she calls. Mom calls often. That is not the Mom I know. Our Mom is a non-demanding servant-hearted woman. Yet, Mom also seems aware that she is losing herself little by little and her face becomes overwhelmed with sadness. It seems to some extent that Mom's mind is intact, it just has holes in it (maybe like a sponge) that make it very difficult to make clear thinking connections.
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As Mom digresses, it can be much like taking care of a two year old or younger. If you remember what having a two year old looks like, you get a glimpse into what a day might look like for caretakers of those with Alzheimers: they're often awakened before they're ready to be awake; "accidents" in the bed might be common; changing sheets, giving bath/shower, getting ready for the day; fixing and feeding breakfast; getting things set with "activities" for the morning; fixing and feeding lunch; naptime (maybe); aches, pains, needs met; fixing and feeding supper; evening "activities"; staying awake until at least nine so maybe the nights sleep will be good; bedtime routine, pills, pajamas, questions, aches, pains....sleep (maybe or maybe not)...up and down throughout the night....
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I have always loved and respected Steve and Sandi but as Mom's illness progresses and I have spent a few days as her "semi-caregiver", my appreciation and gratitude for them has grown enormously. I offer my thanks for both Steve and Sandi and for the thousands of children who are Alzheimer caregivers. May those in these circumstances realize how much THEY NEED THE LORD! I know that Steve and Sandi do! I know that Mom does! May GOD bless all of you richly!
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I am also grateful today for a family of four who I just met in the summer of 2007 when my husband, Steve, was considering the preacher opening at Pitman: Ross, Benja, Johnna, and Liam. I feel like I've known them all my life and we were only together for last school year.
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In May, they moved from New Jersey to Alabama (not far from Steve and Sandi). We made so many connections in such a short time...I feel like I'm related to them. Oh, I am! We're family because of Jesus! Although Ross got his new job early in the year, they waited to move their children from New Jersey until Johnna starred in her school play "Fiddler on the Roof" in May. Here are two pictures their last few days in New Jersey:
- Pic 1: Johnna is taking her bow on the last night of her Fiddler on the Roof performance
- Pic 2: Her face shows that she is not wanting to leave NJ for Alabama in two days.
- Pic 3: Shows a few "transformed moms" who went that night to support Johnna and say "goodbye" to this very special family. Her daddy, Ross, is in the background in the green.
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This past Saturday afternoon while Steve and Sandi and their daughter Katie were at the Alabama game, Benja, her daughter Johnna, and friend Sherri (who happened to be visiting them from Pitman) came over to visit with Mom and me. Now, to know Benja is to know laughter, joy, stories, connection, compassion, high energy, higher-level thinking...I'm smiling as I'm writing this!
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Here is a mom who has been through a huge move...is still helping kids adjust to new schools...is back in school herself because teacher's licensure is different in each state...they're paying two mortgage payments because their New Jersey house still hasn't sold...feel the stress yet?!?!?! One thing I know about Benja is that she has her priorities straight: FAITH, FAMILY, FRIENDS... She knows that PEOPLE NEED THE LORD...starting with her own children.
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As we sat there on Saturday, she vivaciously told a Veteran's Day story that would touch any heart. School was to be out on Veteran's Day and Liam thought that the reason why was very cool. Then, he heard that the day before was the 233rd birthday of the US Marine Corps. That was amazing to him and he got excited. "Mom, we have to do something! We have to let the Marine's know how thankful that we are for them. We have to wish them a happy birthday!" Benja, being the mother that she is, did not write this off. I am so grateful for mother's who go the extra mile like she did that day. She made phone calls all around the Huntsville, Alabama area. This is a big military area with NASA and Red Stone Arsnenal there. It took time. She heard, "You want to do what?" The plan finally came together.
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Last Tuesday, Veteran's Day, Benja and Liam went to a bakery and picked out a birthday cake. They put the number candles 2.3.3. on top of the cake and headed for the Marine Recruiting office. It was the morning of Veteran's Day in a big military city. There were many in the office preparing for the parade. On the way there, Liam insisted that they practice singing, "Happy Birthday to the Marines!" Did I mention that Liam is seven years old?
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They entered the office with cake in hand, candles lit, singing "Happy Birthday to the Marines!" Liam had been taught to show gratitude. However crazy it seemed, Benja helped him in showing his gratitude. To know the Ringler family is to see a glimpse of Jesus. They know that they need the LORD...they know that PEOPLE NEED THE LORD. One of the most remarkable ways to share the LORD is with a heart of gratitude.
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Before I forget, Liam was a hit at the Marine recruiting office that day. He left with stickers, Marine memorabilia, and a new experience of putting his gratitude attitude into action.
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Thank you, Benja and thank you Liam!
Whoever the person... old parent, young parent, old child, young child....
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Whatever the circumstances...to be served...to be honored...to be encouraged...
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Wherever you are...in your home...at school...on the job...
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Please know that PEOPLE NEED THE LORD! Let Him shine through you today with a GRATITUDE ATTITUDE!
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4 comments:
What a great post! Thank you so much for the reminder.
Yes, people need the Lord. That is so evident in this world. I liked your post. Thankyou for sharing! Have a blessed day!
as a family who has been in the awful job of marine corps recruiting, thank you! please pass along a thank you to the year old boy who is so precious. people are not always kind to marines and the fact that he would take so much time and effort into that birthday celebration is such a blessing. please let him know how much his act meant to the recruiters in that office!
*7 year old
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