ROOTS AND WINGS: TELL THEM WHY!

If you would ask me who I have or have had close relationships with over my life...what characteristics that person has that kept or keep me going to that person...without a doubt, one of the top traits of that person would be:

• "She's a great listener...and even though we may disagree, she validates and affirms my thought processes on any particular topic of discussion...questioning, answering, stating opinions...
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Isn't it nice to feel like you've been heard? Doesn't it soften the blow when someone says, "I hear what you're saying, I'm not sure I can totally wrap my arms around it, but I can tell you really feel strongly about this."

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One of my teaching assignments in Texas was to go into Kindergarten classrooms to help identify gifted students. I was looking for the highly curious...those who really wanted to know the answers...little ones who might not be getting all their questions answered in a pre-1st setting...inquisitive minds who might be putting their teachers on overload...they just didn't want to know the "Who, what, where, when, how, and which?"....they wanted to know "WHY?"...then, there was usually one who already seemed to know all the answers...

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I decided to go into each classroom as THE QUESTION LADY. I took two large hot pink poster boards, put a giant black question mark on each one, tied them together with string at two corners at one end, stuck my head through and...voila!...I was wearing a "question mark sandwich board"...now I was ready to march into those classrooms as THE QUESTION LADY..

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When I entered the room, the teacher would not need to announce me because I was obvious. They loved this time when they had the undivided attention of an adult who was ready to listen to their questions. Oh, there were alot of questions each week for 30 straight minutes:

• Who?
• What?
• Where?
• When?
• Why?
• How?
• Which?
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IT DID NOT START OUT THAT WAY! Are you hearing what I just said? THE FIRST FEW SESSIONS I HAD WITH EACH CLASS...THE CHILDREN HAD A TERRIBLE TIME ASKING QUESTIONS. It was that way in each class that I went to.
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I listened. I asked questions. I listened some more. Here is what I learned. Mommy's and Daddy's had already given their children the idea that it was wrong to ask questions. These are some of the things that children told me...same in each classroom:

1. "Mommy says, 'not now...I'm too busy!'"


2. "Daddy says that he's too tired...that I should just go play."
   
3. "When I ask questions, they say, "If you can't stop this then go to your room."


4. "They say, 'we'll talk about this later', but later never comes..."
   
5. "Most of the time, they just say, 'I don't know...', so I get tired of asking."

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Well, the kids finally warmed up to me. I convinced them that it was okay to ask questions and that I was there to listen to their questions. I might not have all the answers but I wanted them to be heard. We might even have to come back to that question at a later date, but we would write it down so that we would remember. Here's what I learned:

• Everyone eventually had questions and felt validated when I answered them kindly, with honor and respect.


• Some kids abused this new found "power" and just asked silly questions so that they could be heard and validated.


• A few in each class had complicated, over the top questions that they had thought through, thought deeper, and truly were curious about...they wanted to know "Why?"


• I became a very popular person in our community: kindergartners would run up to me in the stores, at ballgames, at church...they'd jump up and down, hug me, and squeal, "It's THE QUESTION LADY!"
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HOW ABOUT IT FRIEND? ARE WE LISTENING? ARE WE ANSWERING? GOD never tires of listening to us, answering our questions, giving us what we NEED.

• Our children need to be heard!
• Our children need to be validated!
• Our children need to ask questions!
• Our children need us to tell them "WHY"...or say "I don't know 'why' but maybe we can research / study this together...or "maybe we can ask someone who would know..."

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Helping them find answers to their questions will GIVE THEM ROOTS and HELP THEM FIND THEIR WINGS!

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When our children were little, we samg a song with them that talked about having BIG EARS...BIG EARS that would listen to GOD...

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Today, let's have:

• BIG EARS for listening to GOD.
• BIG EARS for listening for our children's questions.
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The last time you had BIG EARS for one of your children, what are some questions that they asked? How did you respond?
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OgnjB830dqc

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